For the love of Lansbury and the Righteousness of Shrimp

YOYOYO, this is my new favorite font. It's called Lansbury,as in Angela Lansbury. I had forgotten how much I love Murder, She Wrote. I started watching it the other day, and remembered fondly how much Merce loved that show. I am not sure what it is about the show that I like so much. It may be the memory of watching the show with Merce, or it could be the fact that Angela Lansbury is downright precious. My only complaint is that no one seems to take any issue with the fact that this old lady detective has no experience in criminology. One more complaint; none of the actors take into account that every time Jessica Fletcher shows up, someone dies. If I knew she was going to be in the vicinity, i'd say, “Yeah........so, I am going to have to go. Because every time that old bird comes around, somebody has to drop dead". No thanks. 

Shrimp and Asparagus Saute

Ingredients 

1 medium red onion

7 garlic cloves

1 bunch of asparagus

1 red bell pepper

1 pound large, pealed shrimp

1/2 tbsp Mrs. Dash Spicy blend

1 tbsp butter

Olive oil 

Salt & pepper to taste

1 cup uncooked quinoa 

2 cups chicken stock 

Salt & pepper to taste

1- Finely dice onion 

2- Using a large sauce pan, heat two tbsp of olive over medium heat, and sauté onion, 8 minutes.

3- Using a garlic press, crush 2 cloves of garlic, add to onion, sauté one minute

4- Chop asparagus & red bell pepper, add to pan. Sauté 5-7 minutes, until tender.

5- Place the vegetables in a separate bowl

At this point, in a small pot, combine quinoa, chicken stock, salt and pepper. Boil over medium heat until liquid is completely absorbed. Fluff quinoa with fork.

6- Return pan to heat, add butter & one tbsp olive oil and the rest of the garlic, sauté one minute.

7- Add shrimp to the pan, and cook until shrimp is completely pink. 

8- Add the veggies back to the pan, stir well. Allow to cook for one or two minutes. 

9- Serve over the quinoa. 

Bonne Chance!

Fist fight with a Noble Fir and giving Weight Watchers a hand

                   Oye vey. We are only 7 days away from Christmas, and I am not feeling the Christmas Spirit at all. It could be any number of things. It's 57˚ outside, with no hint of white Christmas or even chilly weather. Another big factor, this is the first holiday season I will spend away from both the Stewarts and the Robersons. But I've got a special stick in my craw today, the Christmas tree died early.
                   In an effort to get the tree replaced as quickly as possible, I agreed to strip the tree of it's decorations by myself. I am not one to jump into a situation that involves manual labor, in case you didn't know. But I do try to be helpful, so I signed on and it started out fine! The glittering tree bulbs came off easy enough, and I felt like I was making great time. But then it came time to take the lights off the tree. While Donnell & I decorated the tree the first time, I remember thinking "Really? Do we really need six strands of lights?". Again, that comes from my aversion to physical work, but I soldiered on anyway. And when only two strands were left, the lights became tangled in the tree. I pulled this way and that, but nothing. I continued to struggle, and the sweat began to drip from my head. Sweat dripping from my head makes me irrational, so naturally the dogs decided to go ape ****, barking at little children passing by. Between the barking, the sweating, and the tangled lights, I lost my cool and plunged my fist into the tree and tangled wires. If you're wondering what it feels like to a dead evergreen, I can assure you that it is quite unpleasant. As I type this, the flexing action of my hand aggravates the sore spots and reminds me of my bad judgement.
                    Rather than feeling sorry for myself, I am taking time to remind myself to chill out and be grateful. We spend so much time trying to prepare for this time of year, we can allow the distractions to take our focus off the reason for the season. So let's take time to count our blessings, and reflect on all the goodness that is bestowed upon us daily. Oh, and don't punch Christmas trees, it is not a wise thing
to do.

Weight Watchers Chimichanga Recipe 

-Jake Style

This recipe follows the original recipe fairly closely, but I omit the cheese and change up the spices. It's easy, fast and very good. Enjoy!

Ingredients 

1 medium onion

5 cloves of garlic

1 pound ground turkey 

1 packet of lower sodium taco seasoning 

1 can refried black beans

1 tsp ground cumin 

1 tbsp ground black pepper 

1 tbsp sea salt

1 can of refried black beans

1/2 cup of hot salsa

8 whole wheat tortillas 

Sour cream & salsa to add on top when cooked (about a tbsp of each per chimichanga)

Preheat oven to 350˚ 

1- Finely chop onion

2- Using a large sauce pan, coat with 3 tbsp of Olive Oil, and sauté onion, 8 minutes.

3- Using a garlic press, crush garlic. Add to onion, sauté one minute. 

4- Add ground turkey to pan, and break apart with a spatula. 

5- Continue to loosen meat as it cooks, add spices. Cook until browned.

6- Add black beans and salsa, and stir well. Salt & pepper to taste 

7- Open tortillas bag, place in microwave and cook for 45 seconds. 

8- Lay the first tortilla onto plate, ladle 1/8th bean/meat mixture on tortilla, fold in sides and roll up.

9- In 9"x 13" pan place each chimichanga seam down, line up evenly. 

10- Bake for 20- -30 minutes, until edges are browned. 

11- Serve with a dollop of sour cream and salsa on each chimichanga.  

                 

Confessions from the kitchen.....

              My name is Jake Stewart, and I have a confession to make; I love casseroles. And furthermore, I don't care who knows it. There is something magical about a very long list of ingredients coming together in a 9" x 13" Pyrex pan. My mom didn't make many casseroles, but two of my aunts never met a casserole recipes that they didn't dominate. Casseroles remind me of potlucks at church. It's not spoken out loud, but having at least one good cook per family is almost prerequisite for being a member of the Church of Christ. This recipe is delicious and very easy to adjust to your own personal tastes. That said, I wouldn't change it because i already made it perfect. Enjoy y'all!

Baked Chicken Rotini Casserole

Ingredients 

1 pound chicken breast 

Italian blend seasoning 

Salt 

Pepper 

8 cloves of garlic 

1/2 yellow pepper

1 small onion 

1 cup chopped portobello mushroom 

1 can diced tomatoes 

1/2 can of tomato paste

1 teaspoon of Sriracha hot sauce   -  If you don't like heat, feel free to omit. (Panty waste)

1 jar Newman's Own Sockarooni Spaghetti sauce

1 box (13.25 oz) Barilla whole grain rotini

1 & 1/2 cups of shredded mozzarella

Preheat oven to 380˚

1 - Place chicken in a plastic bag, and use meat mallet to tenderize chicken

2- Coat chicken in italian seasoning, salt and pepper evenly on both sides

3- Using a garlic press, crush 4 cloves of garlic 

4- In a large sauce pan, coat pan with two - three tbsp of olive oil, add garlic and allow to simmer for one minute over medium heat. Add chicken and sauté on each side until lightly browned. 

5- Turn off heat and set chicken aside to drop temperature. Once cooled, chop chicken into small pieces.

6- Dice Onion, mushroom and pepper 

7- In a separate sauce pan, add two tbsp olive oil and set burner to medium. Sauté the onion, mushroom bell pepper until tender, about 10 minutes.

8- Crush remaining garlic cloves and add to the pan, sauté for about 1 minute. 

9- Add diced tomatoes, tomato paste and sriracha. Stir well. 

10- Add jar of spaghetti sauce, then add salt & pepper to taste, turn off heat. 

11- Boil 6 cups of water in a large pot, add two tbsp of salt to water. Once at a rolling boil, add pasta and boil for 7 and 1/2 minutes. Drain water and set aside. 

12- In a 9"x13" pan, add pasta, chicken, sauce and 3/4 cups of mozzarella and mix well. Sprinkle remaining 3/4 cups on top.

13- Bake for 20 minutes at 380˚. Then switch oven to broil and set to 400˚, broil until cheese is melted. Allow to stand for 5 minutes and enjoy!

Hail to the D! Mrs., that is.....

MRS. DASH 

The quintessential salt free flavor enhancer

                    AS many of you know, I love to cook. I am no longer twenty, and I can't cook whatever I'd like to. If I had my druthers, I'd fry chicken once a week and serve potatoes at least 4 times a week. I have had to change the way I cook, because now I cook for two! Yes I miss the salt, fat and occasional MSG. BUT THERE ARE WAYS AROUND IT! Not a dinner or supper is served in our house without a healthy dose of Mrs. Dash Garlic & Herb blend, and/or Mrs. Dash Table Blend. It is true, you kind of have to use a lot to get the full effect, but it is worth it. You can still make your favorite dishes with out all the sodium! Give it a try, mouth breathers.

http://www.mrsdash.com/products/Garlic-(and)-Herb-Blend/6

A tale of accidental flashing and a taste of the Gulf....

When I was young, like a lot of children in America, holidays were the highlight of my year. Christmas was obviously the most anticipated, but there were others to look forward as well. Halloween promised free candy and Thanksgiving always held a bevy of delicious food. Easter was always a cut above in my book, the Easter Bunny was always pretty generous to my sisters and me. There is one Easter that stood out in particular; the time I accidentally flashed my sisters.  

It may have been 1989 or 1990, I can’t recall. Now when it came to most holiday mornings (the kind where you received gifts), I was always the first to get out of bed. I don’t know why, but on that morning my sisters had to wake me up to go see what the Easter Bunny had left for us. I remember the girls rushing into the room and shaking me, but at the same time I recall being very groggy. Jenny & Emily excitedly tried to rouse me, and as I shifted around in the bed, I realized that my underwear had come off at some point while I was sleeping. And just then, in a matter of a few seconds, two things happened - I uttered “I’m not wearing any underwear” and one of my sisters pulled back the covers, exposing my fun parts. 

As my sisters fled the room screaming, I called after them “I told you I wasn’t wearing any underwear”. Ha, good times. 

Shrimp Veracruzana

Original recipe taken from www.eatingwell.com

http://www.eatingwell.com/recipes/shrimp_veracruzana.html

Ingredients 

1. 2 teaspoons canola oil
2. 1 bay leaf
3. 1 medium onion, halved and thinly sliced
4. 2 jalapeño peppers, seeded and very thinly sliced, or to taste
5. 4 cloves garlic, minced
6. 1 pound peeled and deveined raw shrimp, (16-20 per pound; see Shopping Tip)
7. 3 medium tomatoes, diced
8. 1/4 cup thinly sliced pitted green olives
9. 1 lime, cut into 4 wedges

Heat oil in a large nonstick skillet over medium heat. Add bay leaf and cook for 1 minute. Add onion, jalapeños and garlic and cook, stirring, until softened, about 3 minutes. Stir in shrimp, cover and cook until pink and just cooked through, 3 to 4 minutes. Stir in tomatoes and olives. Bring to a simmer, reduce heat to medium-low, replace cover and cook until the tomatoes are almost broken down, 2 to 3 minutes more. Remove the bay leaf. Serve with lime wedges.

NOW, HOW JAKE MADE IT BETTER

3 Cups uncooked baby spinach (Added at the last minute, allowing to it cook only long enough to wilt)

Add 4 more cloves of garlic

Use Coconut oil instead of canola

Use 1/2 cup of green olives

Serve over a bed of rice or quinoa pilaf

Bonne Chance, Mofo

Fat Thighs & Collard Greens

Hello you,

                Sorry, it's been a while. Last week was fairly busy and our weekend was spent out of town. It did give me time to think about what I was going to write next, and the idea came to me while driving south into Virginia. I decided to give you my recipe for "healthier collard green", but first I'd like to talk about one of my favorite people ever. My grandmother,  Becky Jean Stewart (nee Covington).
                 There have been lots of quality people in my life from the get go, but few have come close to Merce (that was her grandmother nickname). She was the definition of a lady. She set people at ease with great warmth. Merce was very well groomed. When I was younger, I went to the salon with her so she could have her hair done. With her hair dripping after being shampooed, she'd look at me and say things like "Now don't tell anyone what I look like with wet hair". She was generous to her family, friends and to others in need. She was very sweet, but also a master manipulator with the most a effective weapon: a bright, white smile. When I refused to see eye to eye with her or didn't want to do something, she'd stand as close to my face as possible and say "Awwwww, Jacob. AAAAWWWWW, Jacob!" until I relented. And more importantly, she was a hoot.
                 I am not sure when senility started in on our sweet grandmother, but I remember noticing that she was saying things that the old Merce wouldn't have said. Many times, her odd comments surrounded overweight people. I remember getting into her car at the grocery store, as a very robust man passed the hood of her Lincoln. "I just don't see how people like that leave the house like that", with the ease one would use to say to another, "I don't see how you're wearing shorts in this cold".
It bothered me a little bit, because this was during my high school days and I was plump myself.
                I believe it was a fall afternoon when my older sister Emily came home from college for the weekend. We drove over to Merce's house that Saturday afternoon. After visiting for a while, Merce suggested we go get a snack to together, so we all got into my Montero and drove to Sonic. Once we arrived, we ordered our food & drinks and began chatting. At some point, Merce took her American Express card out of her handbag and handed it to me. Emily was in the back seat and saw my expired driver's license on the floor of the car.

My grandparents - Becky Jean & Hardy Malcolm Stewart

                "They still put your weight on driver's licenses in New Mexico?" asked Emily. "Yeah, they do", I replied. She laughed, saying "How funny!". But I had to be honest, "Yeah, except thats about 30 pounds off". With the dreaded subject at hand, Merce had to investigate. She took the license out of Emily's hand and examined it. "You weight 193 pounds?", she asked me with a fixed stare. "Yes mam", I replied.  "Oh" was all she said. The moment passed and we continued to talk. Just before the order arrived Merce said "Where's my credit card?". She looked around and saw the card on resting on my thigh. "Oh, there's my card. On that fat thigh of your's".
                  Emily busted out laughing and I even laughed through my embarrassment, but I was still shocked. "Merce!" I said loudly. Without giggling or really even crack a face, she replied " Well, if you weight 193 pounds, that's a fat thigh". And what was my recourse? Nothing! A, she as partially correct, and  B, you aren't supposed to scold your grandmother. Well played, Merce.

ONTO THE RECIPE!

"Healthier Collard Greens"

A Jake Stewart Original

              Collard greens are hands down one of my favorite dishes ever. However, the traditional recipes contain a lot more fat than necessary, so here's a lighter & very flavorful alternative.


Ingredients

• 16 oz or 1 pound of fresh collard greens
• 4 Strips of Turkey Bacon
• Three Tbsp's of Olive Oil
• One large yellow onion
• 5-6 cloves of garlic
• 1 can diced tomatoes
• 1 small can of diced green chile
• 2 1/2 good quality chicken stock (Kitchen Basics)
• 1 Tbsp No Salt Alternative
• 1 Tsp of fresh cracked black pepper

1 - Dice Turkey bacon. Place large pot on stove top, turn heat to medium, then add the bacon. Allow to brown, maybe 4-6 minutes. 

2 - Dice the onion, finely. Add to pot and stir frequently. Add more olive oil if necessary. Allow to sauté about 8-10 minutes or translucent. 

3 - Remove husks from garlic. Using a garlic press, crush all the cloves of garlic. Add to onions & bacon.

4 - Open the tomatoes & green chile, and add to pot with liquid from each jar. Stir and allow to sit for a few minutes. 

5 - Unless already chopped, go ahead and chop collard greens into 1" strips. Add the greens to pot and cover. Allow to sweat for about 5 minutes. Stir & mix all ingredients once the greens have wilted. 

6 - Add chicken stock, and stir again. Cover and allow to stew for about 20-30 minutes. 

7 - To check whether the greens are ready, pull one of the thick, fibrous center stalk pieces. If it's easy to bite through, just past al dente, its ready!

Everyone needs to be able to make a good batch of greens! If you'd like to be able to do so without feeling like a fat kid, then look no further!

PS : If you want to make this meal extra amazing, add a tbsp of reserved chicken fat or butter after you add the chicken stock. I know this is supposed to be the "better for you" version, but come on, sometimes you just have to make little bit more rich.

Shells, Shells, everywhere. And all are stuffed with meat.

Hello, you. 

            Yesterday was Monday. I started the day off by riding with Don to the Mazda dealership where my old car was being repaired. With the suspension fixed, she rode like a dream. I love my car, but it is on the old side. Living in a big, wealthy city like D.C.  reminds me of that fact as luxury cars roll past. But I buoy myself up,  saying (so I says to myself, I says) "You know what? If this were 1989, my car would be so rad, so take that". I highly endorse maintaing a false sense of superiority. 
          

            Later on in the day, after working on school work and taking an unplanned nap, I decided to go for a drive before starting dinner. It was a pleasantly grey D.C. afternoon, with a cool breeze. Perfect day for driving with the windows down and the sunroof open. It was bliss. I sat there at a stop light on Rhode Island Avenue, counting my blessings. My wonderful partner, our sweet dogs, my friends and family, Apple products, and that face wash I like so much. Out of nowhere, in the opposite lane, a dump tuck screeched to an emergency stop. 
               It startled me. It startled the driver, too. After a few seconds, the driver and I made eye contact. He made the universal gesture for "What's Up", and I nodded back. Just then, he twisted his face up for a huge sneeze, and then expelled a mouthful of sunflower seeds. Again, we are both startled. I felt rather odd just sitting there as he composed himself. It was kind of gross, and I felt like I had walked in on him using the bathroom (which makes me feel very, very, very awkward). After a moment, he laughed. And the next thing he said was the best part of all. 

"Ha, that was gross."

              You're right sir, that was gross. But you acknowledged it, to a stranger, and then he upped the ante by speaking to that stranger. It was weird interaction, but the memory made me laugh several times  later in the evening. Thank you. And then I went home and got down in the kitchen. 

               And now for a terrible segue, I like the idea of stuffed dishes. Chicken, fish, pasta or desserts, I am in favor of sticking more ingredients inside of one thing to make it that much better. So last night, I decided to make Stuffed Shells with chicken, shrimp and a lot of other goodness. It is a little time consuming, but totally worth it.

Stuffed Shells

A Jake Stewart Original

Ingredients

• 16 oz box of large pasta shells
• 4, 3-4 oz thin cut breasts
• 1/2 pound of large shrimp 
• 4 oz of goat cheese
• 1/3 cup of nonfat greek yogurt
• 4 Tbsp of McCormick Italian Blend Seasoning
• 1 Tbsp of Mrs Dash Table Blend Seasoning
• 1/2 Tbsp of fresh cracked black pepper
• 2, 1/4 cup of Extra Virgin Olive Oil
• 1/2 large red onion
• 1 baby portobello mushroom
• 1 red bell pepper
• 4 cloves of garlic
• 2 1/2 cups of good quality spaghetti sauce
• 1/3 cup of grated parmesan
• 1 cup grated low fat mozzarella 

Preheat oven to 450˚ 

1 - Mix Italian seasoning, Mrs Dash, black pepper and olive oil in a small bowl, this the meat marinade. Place chicken in large ziplock bag and coat with half of the marinade. After shrimp have been cleaned, place them in another large ziplock bag and coat with the left over marinade. Marinate the shrimp & chicken in fridge for 1 hour or longer. 

2 - Using outdoor grill or skillet, cook chicken on a medium heat for about 7-8 minutes. Set aside to cool. 

3 - Using a large frying pan, heat two tablespoons of olive oil. Dice red onion and sauté for 5 minutes. Next, dice bell pepper and mushroom. Add to the onions, continue to sauté for another 5 minutes. Using a garlic press, crush all 4 cloves of garlic. Add garlic to the pan, sauté for about 30 seconds. Then remove pan for heat to prepare for the next step.

4 - Remove shrimp from bag and dice into small pieces. Place pan back on medium heat, and add shrimp to the onion/pepper mixture. Sauté for about 4-5 minutes, until shrimp is opaque. Lower heat, and add the goat cheese and greek yogurt to the pan, gently combine. Chop chicken and add the chicken to the pan. Mix well. 

5 - Add four cups of water to pot and bring to a boil. Add 1 teaspoon of sea salt. Once boiling, add shells to pot. Boil for 7-8 minutes or al dente. Drain in colander. Allow to cool. 

6 - Once cooled, begin stuffing shells. Place the cooked shell in the palm of your hand, and open the shell. Place about 2 Tbsp's of the stuffing mixture inside. 

7 - Spray Pam Non-Stick cooking spray in a 7 X 11 pyrex pan. Line shells up in the baking dish. Once full, mix spaghetti sauce and parmesan cheese in a separate bowl. Ladle out about two tbsp's onto each shell. Then cover with the mozzarella. Bake for about 20 minutes, or until the cheese it browned. And then enjoy!

Bonne Chance, Mofo.