Yes, I ordered myself a cheese bagel with light chive cream cheese and bacon from Bagels, Ect. yesterday morning. I was immediately struck down by justice's swift sword. When I opened the bag, I did not find my custom ordered bagel, I found a vegetable bagel with too much cream cheese. It was really bothersome, but I didn't let it weigh me down. I had even more upsetting meal earlier in week that evoked two of the worst feelings, guilt coupled with buyer's remorse.
Devastation.
It was a cold, glum day and I was feeling particularly sorry for myself for no particular reason. First thought: get somethin' real greasy for lunch and put some cheese on it. "That will cheer me up", I says to myself, I says. So I go to a chain fast food restaurant and ordered their new sandwich, which was purported to be delicious. In reality, it was disgusting and I took two bites and returned it to its box. I was left to eat my french fries and ponder my life choices.
The upside of this new diet we implemented is that we are both excellent cooks and have really been rocking the mall with all of the BS healthy recipes. I have been very pleasantly surprised by how awesome some of our new dishes have turned out. I made this recipe up before we started the regiment, but the only real oil is non fat cooking oil spray. So it's not 100% on the level, but it's a hell of a lot better than deep-frying.
Baked Kale and Chicken Egg Rolls
Ingredients
1 package of store bought egg roll wraps
1 pound of boneless, skinless chicken breast
5 cups of chopped raw kale
2 carrots
5 button mushrooms
1 stalk of celery
1 yellow onion
4 cloves of garlic
1 tablespoon of fresh, grated ginger
1/4 cup of low sodium soy sauce
Salt and pepper to taste
Optional ingredient - your favorite olives, diced. Also, adding parmesan or manchego cheese to the mixture before rolling would be really good.
Chicken Spice Marinade
2 teaspoons of garlic powder
2 teaspoons of onion powder
1 teaspoon of ground ginger
1 teaspoon of chile powder
2 teaspoons of black pepper
1 teaspoon of season salt or adobo
Preheat the oven to 390˙ F
WATCH THE VIDEO ABOUT HOW TO ROLL EGG ROLLS. IF YOU’RE NOT GOING TO DO IT RIGHT, THEN DON’T DO IT AT ALL!
1- Mix all of the chicken spice marinade together in a bowl. Take chicken out of the package, and pat chicken dry. Liberally and evenly coat the chicken with the spices and allow to marinate in the refrigerator for at least 30 minutes.
2- Grill the chicken for at least 7 minutes on each side. If you don’t have access to a grill, its ok to pan sauté the chicken. Just make sure to brown it well on well on either side. Set aside and allow to cool.
3- Using a food processor and it’s shredding attachments, shred the carrots, onion, celery, mushrooms. If you don’t have a food processor, make sure you chop everything very finely and evenly.
4- Chop garlic very finely, DO NOT CRUSH!
5- In a large sauté pan that has a lid, coat the bottom of the pan with non fat cooking spray and add the shredded vegetable mixture to the pan, cooking over medium heat. Allow to cook for about 3-4 minutes, just as the mixture starts to break down from the heat.
6- Add the garlic, ginger and soy sauce to the pan. Reduce heat to medium low, and sauté for about 3 , stirring well.
7- Add the kale to the pan. Cover the pan with the lid and allow to sweat for a few minutes, stirring every so often, making sure the kale wilts evenly (about 7-10 minutes). Turn off heat and allow to cool.
8- Chop the chicken into small pieces, add to the pan and stir the ingredients well. Drain off excess fluid from pan.
8- Start rolling the egg rolls. Use a 1/4 measuring cup to fill the egg roll wraps. Roll them up, nice & TIGHT!
9- Coat a large baking sheet with a thick coat of non fat cooking spray. Lay the egg rolls down on the baking sheet and then spray the tops of the egg rolls with more cooking spray.
10- Place the egg rolls in the oven. Allow to bake for about 30-40 minutes, turning every ten minutes to make sure they are browned well all around. Spray with extra non fat cooking as needed.
NOW EAT IT! AND LIKE IT! But let them cool first. Duh.
FIRST! BEFORE YOU START COOKING, WATCH THIS SAUCY MINX TEACH YOU HOW TO ROLL EGG ROLLS.
If you aren't familiar, they're easy to mess up and then you'll miss out on the hot mess that posted this video to YouTube. Fast forward to 2 minutes in, that's where she starts rolling.
Now, for the recipe!
1 pound of boneless, skinless chicken breast
5 cups of chopped raw kale
2 carrots
5 button mushrooms
1 stalk of celery
1 yellow onion
4 cloves of garlic
1 tablespoon of fresh, grated ginger
1/4 cup of low sodium soy sauce
Salt and pepper to taste
2 teaspoons of garlic powder
2 teaspoons of onion powder
1 teaspoon of ground ginger
1 teaspoon of chile powder
2 teaspoons of black pepper
1 teaspoon of season salt or adobo
2- Grill the chicken for at least 7 minutes on each side. If you don’t have access to a grill, its ok to pan sauté the chicken. Just make sure to brown it well on well on either side. Set aside and allow to cool.
3- Using a food processor and it’s shredding attachments, shred the carrots, onion, celery, mushrooms. If you don’t have a food processor, make sure you chop everything very finely and evenly.
4- Chop garlic very finely, DO NOT CRUSH!
5- In a large sauté pan that has a lid, coat the bottom of the pan with non fat cooking spray and add the shredded vegetable mixture to the pan, cooking over medium heat. Allow to cook for about 3-4 minutes, just as the mixture starts to break down from the heat.
6- Add the garlic, ginger and soy sauce to the pan. Reduce heat to medium low, and sauté for about 3 , stirring well.
7- Add the kale to the pan. Cover the pan with the lid and allow to sweat for a few minutes, stirring every so often, making sure the kale wilts evenly (about 7-10 minutes). Turn off heat and allow to cool.
8- Chop the chicken into small pieces, add to the pan and stir the ingredients well. Drain off excess fluid from pan.
8- Start rolling the egg rolls. Use a 1/4 measuring cup to fill the egg roll wraps. Roll them up, nice & TIGHT!
9- Coat a large baking sheet with a thick coat of non fat cooking spray. Lay the egg rolls down on the baking sheet and then spray the tops of the egg rolls with more cooking spray.
10- Place the egg rolls in the oven. Allow to bake for about 30-40 minutes, turning every ten minutes to make sure they are browned well all around. Spray with extra non fat cooking as needed.
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